Why sex is not as scary as it seems

Hi ladies, my name is Zayn and I am the new sex and sexuality editor. Which means I get to talk to you about all things sex, how we relate to it, sexual identity and so much more. As someone who is open minded, I find it strange that sex is still such a taboo in this day and age. And how difficult it is to talk openly about sex and everything that comes with it. Why is sex talk so scary? Is it because it was first associated famously with the act of Adam receiving the forbidden fruit from Eve who was deceived by a serpent? Or is it something else?

After all sex has in the ancient times ended wars and united enemy kingdoms; but our parents still find it hard to talk to us about it. The world has explored topics such as race, war, politics, drugs, culture, religion, but rarely sex.

In biology class, they loosely explain a female and a male anatomy and only explains it as primary reproductive function and nothing more. Growing up one gets to learn that sex is associated with many other things, if not everything. And sexuality is a term that many people do not know, nor understand.

We have sex when we are curious, or sad. We do it when we are drunk and bored. And we also do it when we are happy and free. It is associated with love, with life, in many cases with power as life derives from it. Sex is the most natural act of life but it is also the most misunderstood concept of self-freedom. Most women live their whole lives not having to experience an orgasm. In fact a recent study showed that about 75% of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone that is without the extra help of toys, hands or tongue. And 10 – 15% never climax under any circumstances. This is where sexuality comes in; this is the way people experience and express themselves sexually. It may involve biological, erotic, physical, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors.

We were taught that one only has sex when they are married. But today porn is easily accessible. Every other movie has a sex scene, yet sex education is still limited to the fundamentals of reproduction. Sex is much more than just making babies. It is a way to communicate and connect. Sex is an expression of the self. For some it is a way to express fear, anger, resentment, whilst others cry tears of joy, and mummer words like “I love you” when they reach climax.

I heard someone I know say that there are only three ways one can transcend, and this is through meditation, prayer, and by reaching an orgasm. This should show you how much you know about sex and sexuality. If it can bring you closer to the basis of life, then why are we not talking more about it in that sense? Why are we making sexuality and loving yourself such a foreign concept?

Which is why it is important to learn to touch yourself and enjoy sex. As this may increase your life expectancy. And sex releases several endorphins and hormones in the body that are actually good for you. It increases feelings of intimacy, bonding, and this may combat feelings of loneliness and depression. Most of us may also know that staying sexually active has physical, stress relieving, social, and mental benefits. Which is why we should be enjoying these benefits!

However, we should also be aware of the consequences associated with sex. Which is why practicing safe sex is important. Luckily nowadays classes such as Life Orientation (LO), that were introduced in schools following a rise in teenage pregnancy, tackle issues of keeping oneself safe from Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and how to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.

And with these classes come great tools that we can all use to keep ourselves safe. Contraceptives such condoms, dental dams, the pill and rubber gloves . In many places safe packs can be found, for instance, at LGBTQA+ pride events, in clinics, pharmacies and convenient stores.  So ladies, there is no reason at all why you cannot explore that side of you. Sex is beautiful when done right and everyone involved is consenting. So go out there and live your life, but remember to stay safe!

What do you think about it? Share your thoughts!